My pregnancy is almost over.
I can’t even say it’s been a long nine months. In reality, it’s flown by way faster than I thought it would. Each month slipping by before I could even stop and check one of the many “pregnancy checklists” you see online.
Each month flying past, over so soon that I have barely had time to really analyze my feelings. So here is my attempt at that now, with (hopefully) only days left.
Happy and Sad at the same time
I think this one is fairly common – I’m happy that the wait is almost over, yet sort of sad that once my baby is here, I’ll miss all those little sommersaults in my belly. I’ve been blessed with a fairly easy and uncomplicated pregnancy. Minor annoyances aside, the grand majority of these nine months have been one fantastic discovery after another. From first finding out that I was pregnant only a few weeks after I conceived, to the “quickening” where I felt Zig move for the first time, to finding out that the wee one has dropped, I’m so happy and thankful for every experience I’ve had. And though I’ll be over the moon when Lil’ Ziggy is born, I think I will probably experience some sadness over no longer feeling another human grow inside me.
Okay, so “done” isn’t really an emotion, but today I say it is. I’m “done” being pregnant, done with puffy feet and sore hips. Done with OB appointments (and I’ve only had one!), and done with worrying that I have all my ducks in a row. Heads up: I don’t, but who does?
But I’m also done because I want to meet my baby so badly. Every night I go into labour and every morning I wake up disappointed that it was all a dream. As I inch towards my due date, the anticipation is only building and every ache and pain reminds me that my Ziggy is still preferring my cozy insides. Come on out, Lil’ Ziggy! It’s cozy out here too!
Worried because, for all my preparation, I still have no real idea of just what’s in store. I’ve written and studied my birth plan, I’ve got my hospital bag ready to go (well, the baby portion anyway. My own bag is a work in progress…), the crib is up, the car seat base is properly installed, I’ve read books and blogs and websites about those first few days and beyond… but what do I really DO when it’s all over and I’m given this precious little baby to take care of for the rest of my life?
I know I’ll figure it out, just like every mother in the history of humanity. I mean, how did they raise children before parenting books were a thing anyway? And I’ve done so much research that I feel like I could recognize a lot of situations and problems and then remedy them. But there’s still an element of worry in my mind: how do I know that I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to do?
Thankfully this emotion is stronger than my worry! The last days of pregnancy is like Christmas Eve to a child, times about 6000. I have no idea what to expect, but I do know that it’s going to be awesome.
I’m also feeling strangely good and energetic these days, which I’m hoping is a sign that things will happen soon. And of course I’m wildly excited to finally meet Lil’ Ziggy, to hold my wee one in my arms and introduce myself as “Mommy”.
I’m in love with this tiny human that I haven’t even seen yet, besides all the hilarious squirming in my belly. I’m in love with the ten fingers and ten toes that I know are in there, and will soon be making their appearance. I’m in love with the little feet that will be kicking in footed onesies instead of my ribs. I’m in love with the little face that I’ve only glimpsed on an ultrasound screen.
But most of all, I’m in love with my wonderful husband. Make no mistake, I was in love with him before we started this new journey, but I’m even more in love with him now that my pregnancy is coming to an end and we’re closer to meeting our baby. To see him getting excited about becoming a father, to see him setting up the crib and moving furniture around, to see him being protective of me, fetching me water, carrying all the groceries… ah! So in love. I know I picked a good one. He’s going to be an amazing dad.
Your turn! If you’re a mom, what kinds of emotions did you experience as you made your way towards your due date? If you went overdue, did some of those emotions change or get stronger?
This post has been shared with pride at: